Dieting

So. I've had a little conversation with my mom last night. It was good at first--I was updating on how much of a mess I am lately; I've been missing deadlines, turning in mediocre assignments, and backing into a car. Then she ungraciously mentioned me gaining weight. I've gained 5 lbs during end of semester/finals. So I weight 145 lbs. It's a lot for Asian 5'4" female. But I swear, it's the least thing I need to hear right now. I've got my priorties. While I much prefer to slim down and have self-control with what I am eating, when other parts of my life are wreck, I give a very little piece of mind to staying fit. I would like to get other shit straightned out before I can decide if I want to take care of my body. And my mom--she needs to know when to not say certain things--gives me a lecture on this. So I hung up on her. I TOLD her I did not want to hear this right now. So I just hung up on her without much warning. Please, I do not want to invite more stress. How the hell is that going to help me where she wants me to be? Nagging your child never works. I SWEAR. No matter how much my mom justifies her nagging (saying that it's wise words), I will always get pissed off if she brings it up when the time is not right. THERE IS TIME FOR THINGS. Please, watch where I am when you are going to lecture me. If I were to start dieting right now like my mom suggested, I would shut down in my work, school, etc. So don't bug me. This pisses me off immensely and I want to block my mom, but I won't go that far right now.

Added 6:04 pm...

I just hate myself right now. I am not who I want to be. And I keep replaying this song;